Grimmjow's Birthday party
by smylealong
Summary: Grimmjow throws a party in Hueco Mundo. This is a recounting of the madness that follows. No pairings. All Espadas, Aizen, Gin, Tosen and Orihime are a part of this madness. One shot.


On DA, I was requested by Seihana-Chan to write a one-shot that had the following requirements:

1. Humor. To the point of crack.  
>2. The Espada must be involved.<p>

This is my first attempt at crack, so if things are weird, unfunny, please excuse. Hope you enjoy this nonsense. A few things need to be said before this madness starts. The first part is an introduction by me and the smart comments within {} is my alter ego butting in. The rest is a recounting of how things went.

Characters belong to Tite Kubo.

* * *

><p><strong>Grimmjow's Birthday Party<strong>

So life in Hueco Mundo was going on as usual, {shouldn't that be death?} with nothing much happening. The higher class hollows were killing the lower hollows, Ulquiorra was getting Orihime food three times a day, Orihime was giving him random lectures about heart that made no sense to him whatsoever and Aizen was busy plotting world domination. {sigh! what's new?}

So our extremely lively Sexta Espada {errr lively- one definition says, full of life...how is a hollow full of life?} decided to liven things up {'Liven things up'? sigh! I give up!} and decides to throw a birthday party. { Hang on hang on. There are several things that are wrong here. First, how can a Hollow have a 'birthday'? You mean to say death day, don't you? And if it's _indeed_ birthday, then what day is he celebrating? The day he became a hollow, a menos, an adjucas, an arrancar...what?}

Pointless question. Continuing, Grimmy requested (read demanded) that everyone, including Aizen and his two cronies Gin and Tosen, wear a blue cat suit complete with tail and ears. Aizen had secretly been craving a party for a while, so when Grimmy comes up with this idea, the Lord and Master of Hueco Mundo agrees enthusiastically, much to the horror of every Espada.

o on the D day, each Espada put on the 'uniform', with various reactions. So now we go to Hueco Mundo to see the fun and madness that ensued.

Starrk: Zzzzzzzzz

Lilynnete (in the blue cat suit): Wake up! We have to go to the party.

Starrk: Zzzzzz

Lilynnete: Wake up damnit! *Kicking him in the place it hurts the most*

Starrk: What? party? unicorns?

Lilynnete: No, not unicorns, cats.

Starrk: Cats? No, wolves.

Lilynnete: Just wear this damnit!

Starrk: Zzzzzzzz.

Harribel: How do I cover my face in this cat suit? It's too revealing.

Barragan: Why should we wear this? I would have never done it when I was the King.

Ulquiorra: (struggling to put on the hood of the suit over his horn helmet) That trash.

Nnoitra: *&^&%%$#$##^&*&^$$##$

Zommari: (Looking at the cat suit in pure horror) It's thanks to my meditation that I have the strength to wear this

Szayel: Ewwww. This blue will clash miserably with my hair. That sexta has no sense of fashion. If only he'd have picked up a fashion magazine. I will have to give him some special classes on how to groom himself up, then maybe...blah blah blah.

Aaroniero: (In deep voice) How will this go over our head? (in shrill voice) Grimmjow likes to make fun of us.

Yammy: (After he's torn the cat suit trying to pull it over his ridiculously large body) Ulquiooooorrrrraaa, how was this supposed to be worn?

None of the Espadas were truly happy about the catsuit, but went to the party anyway. The party was a nightmare in itself. Not just because the Espadas were dressed in blue catsuits, but because of several other things. To start off, Grimmjow had a good laugh till he saw Tosen walk in with what looked suspiciously like a pink piggy suit instead of a blue cat suit.

Grimmy: Tosen, what are you wearing?

Tosen: I wore what was given to me.

Grimmy: That's a piggy suit. You were supposed to wear a cat suit.

Tosen: What's the difference? I felt Aizen's suit and mine, both seem to have four appendages, a tail and two legs.

Grimmy: Why were you feeling Aizen's suit? Wait, I don't want to know. Go...just go.

Everyone arrived, including a stoked Aizen, who's put on some fake whiskers so that he could do a mustache flick and seem villainous. It was something he'd always wanted to do. Once everyone had taken their seats Grimmjow enthusiastically bounded to the stage.

Grimmy: Hello my brothers and sisters.

Everyone looked around, no one replied.

Grimmy: I mean you all, my fellow Espadas.

Espadas all mutter looking at each other, the words 'Brothers, sisters and no way' featured prominently among them.

Grimmy: I thank you all for coming to the party.

Nnoitra: Like we had a fucking choice?

Grimmy: So I sorta did a vote on who should be the one cooking today's dinner and we have an unanimous winner.

Szayel: What vote? I never cast a vote.

All other Espada:(except Starrk) Neither did we.

Starrk: (waking up and randomly screaming) All hail democracy.

Lilynnete: Go back to sleep old man.

Grimmy: So our winner was...

Ulquiorra: Wait! I want to know who cast the votes?

Grimmy (looking uncomfortable): I did.

Ulquiorra: So it was your decision.

Szayel: That's not what's meant by 'unanimous'.

Grimmy: huh? I thought it means one person's decision?

Ulquiorra: *facepalm*

Szayel: When was the last time you opened a dictionary?

Grimmy: Whats that?

Ulquiorra & Szayel: Never mind.

Grimmy: So as I was saying, the person making today's dinner is...ORIHIME INOUE!

The prisoner of Hueco Mundo comes in amidst stunned silence.

Grimmy: So Orihime Inoue, could you elaborate on the menu?

Orihime: Hello everyone, I put in a lot of effort in planning today's menu. As starters I have chicken wings with a strawberry and peach mash dipping. For the main course, I have Spaghetti with fruits and nuts with whipped cream and wasabi topping and for desert I made cupcakes with basil, pine nut and red bean paste filling.

The stunned silence of the Espada continued. Aizen flicked his mustache and boomed in a loud voice

"LET THE PARTY BEGIN."

Grimmjow played the Cat's version of "Who let the dogs out." Grimmjow, Orihime, Aizen, Tosen, Gin and Yammy's puppy danced to their hearts content as the Espadas watched in horror. The six of them danced to the same tune non-stop for thirty minutes after which Aizen declared it was time to eat. He sat back on a chair, flicked his whiskers (one side of which had slid off because of the heavy duty dancing) and drank tea. None of the Espadas, except Grimmjow, Starrk and Yammy made their way to the dinner table.

Aizen: You all should be brave as those three. Go on, have the food our guest has made for us with so much effort.

The Espadas mumbled but walked off, not wanting to disobey their Lord.

Gin: (whispering in Aizen's ears) Won't ya go?

Aizen: No. I have no desire to give myself food poisoning.

Gin: And yet ya let the Espada go?

Aizen: They went of their own accord.

Gin: No. Ya ordered them to go. Grimmjow was the only one who went on his own. Yammy...well he'll probably eat anything. but why'd Starrk go?

Aizen: He probably woke up just in time to hear that it was time to have dinner.

Gin: Hehehe...Yeah ya are evil ya know.

Aizen: (with a smirk) Yes. The birthday party went just as planned.

And that friends, was the last time any party was ever celebrated at Hueco Mundo.


End file.
